


Nähe des Geliebten

by HisRedRose123



Category: Original Work
Genre: Canon Gay Relationship, Canon LGBTQ Male Character, Co-Written, Conscription, Enemies to Lovers, Gay, Gay Character, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Letters, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Letters, M/M, Men Crying, No Man's Land, Original Character(s), Originally Posted Elsewhere, Past Relationship(s), Period-Typical Homophobia, Poetic, Poetry, Post-World War I, References to Shakespeare, Sad, Secret Relationship, Soldiers, World War I, compulsory heterosexuality, infrequent use of german
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:09:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisRedRose123/pseuds/HisRedRose123
Summary: Your traditional story about wartime sweethearts. Or is it really?Separated by fields of blood, slipping notes through a crack under No Man's Land, two men try to sustain their love across enemy lines[ Title: Closeness of the Beloved One - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ]





	1. Johnathon’s Letter #1

_3rd August_

_My dearest Oscar, _

_The shells in the night sky remind me of the fireworks that blazed through the night sky on the last night that I saw you. It's nights like these when I miss you the most. Do you remember? We had taken a day trip to the Bay of Lübeck for an occasion that I don't really remember but the fireworks were wonderful. Blues, reds, oranges, and pinks. The colors exploded above our heads, giving us the perfect umbrella for stolen kisses. I hope you remember; I'd kill for another day like that._

_Ruth is writing to me less these days, afraid I'm growing too war-weary for the news of dreary Cornwall. She's half right. My brain can't seem to handle that somewhere there is peace and my family is okay and tending to the farms. It scares me that one day I will have to return to that mundane existence. After all I've seen, I don't think I'd be able to readjust. On the other hand, it terrifies me that there's a chance that I won't be going home to the farms; my family or your loving arms._

_Alas, we ought to focus on now, not some hypothetical that may never happen. My commander has commended me for my service so far, though the amount of death and destruction that I'm surrounded by is doing more harm to me than good to others. I can't close my eyes without seeing one body or another. I'm losing sleep. If you were to see me now, my love, you'd barely recognize me. Others in my squadron have told me that I, myself, look like a rank in the legions of the dead. I am yearning for my lost innocence; I want to be able to sleep again without seeing the dead. How do you deal with that? I don't understand how you've done it all these years._

_I wish you could see me now, I'm sure you'd be so proud of me. Do you remember the letters I used to write to you? It would be nothing but me complaining about the ethics of war. I still agree with what I used to say but now I suppose I'm used -if that is the right word to use- I'm used to the violence. I miss the days where we could take ourselves out to the fields at the back of your house and curl up in the soft grass. The grass here is dead and blood-soaked, there's no chance of it being akin to a soft bed. There's no chance of time alone, anymore. Perhaps that's what I've missed the most since we last met; our time together. I miss being with you. The feeling of safety that your presence provided me would be so foreign to me now that even wrapped up beside you, I'd still be looking over my shoulder._

_Until next time. I shall be thinking of you._

_Yours affectionately,_

_\- Johnathon_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is essentially a passion project, co-written by me and my partner of one year who - if any of you read my poetry, y’all will know this - I love and adore and write about often. This is the first time I’m writing something WITH THEM though and I’m very proud and excited to share it with you all. Enjoy!
> 
> \- Johnathon is written by my s/o Ocean  
\- Oscar is written by me, HisRedRose123


	2. Oscar’s Letter #1

_7th August_

_Mien Liebling,_

_I pray this letter reaches you well. I apologise for its lateness in advance. It has been a tiring few days on my side and, between strenuous night shifts and the ceaseless sounds of gunfire, what little free time I have been gifted has been spent unconscious. It really is times like these when I begin to miss the creaky old crib I once bemoaned in my school years. The ground here is damp and cold; nothing at all like the arms of a lover whom I so long for._

_I digress. Congratulations on your acclamation! It pleases me immensely to hear that you are finally being acknowledged by the boneheads behind your line. You are a good soldier, and a decent man. You deserve every ounce of praise you receive - and then some. Perhaps you shall be rewarded with a medal or two by the time this is over. Worry not if you don't, mein süße, I shall let you borrow mine._

_In graver talk, I do admit that I share your anxiety in regards the possibility of death. But do not fear, mein Herz. We both have outlasted many comrades in this war. I believe we have God's favour on our side and there is no doubt in my mind that we shall see this through til its end. And, regardless of the outcome, I swear to you that we shall be together and experience all that life can offer. I will take you away, somewhere quiet - as you prefer - but rich with culture. I know how much you adored Lübeck and think perhaps we might settle some place near or akin to it, in a house of our own, where we shall live and love exclusively. _

_You are right that we should focus on the present, however, and presently, the only thing you ought to concern yourself with is staying alive. Be diligent with your health: sleep as often as you can, and be sure to keep your spirits up. In conditions like these, it is crucial, and I cannot bear to picture you with a frown._

_I fondly anticipate your reply._

_Yours adoringly,_

_\- Oscar_


	3. Johnathon’s Letter #2

_9th August_

_Mein Schatz,_

_I do believe that's right and hope that I'm not insulting you. I profoundly apologise if I made that mistake. I remember that, when living in Germany, you recounted to your wife how you admired the effort I made, and continue to make in these dismal days, to learn your language. I didn't want to disappoint you by halting my usage altogether._

_I understand the lateness of your response. Do not fret, my love, it is a similar situation on this side. I've heard rumours that we might be attempting to cross no man's land soon and yet I doubt it. There seems to be nothing to do but sit around and wait. If only I could see you, maybe the pain would alleviate somewhat._

_Of late, I have noticed a soldier in our trench, mainly the infirmary, that reminds me entirely of you. There's the same sparkle in his eye that appears in yours upon the mention of something you deeply care about. His arms look almost as strong as your ones and I long to be tangled in the embrace again. Often, I wonder if you have again blessed me with your presence or if it is my touch-starved mind playing tricks on me. Truly, I wish for the former. I said previously that I wish I could see you, but I also wish that when we do meet again, I know for sure it is my dearest beside me._

_Please, let us meet again. In our private trench in which we deliver our letters. Surely there must be a chance that we'll see each other there? You are already aware of how much I miss and long for you. Darling, I wish we could have even five minutes wherein I could feel your lips against mine once more. Although, I fear that would cause me to long for you more and I'm not sure how much longer I can stand being alone. Especially when I know you are so close. Perhaps one night I'll come and visit you and maybe I'll get to be held again, even if just for the night._

_I apologise for my pretentious ramblings. I know it could never happen and yet I allow myself to dream._

_Sending you all my love, always._

_Yours eternally,_

_-Johnathon_


	4. Oscar’s Letter #2

_11th August_

_Mein Liebling,_

_I pray you are well. I could not agree more that we ought to meet soon. Every breath I take, every waking moment, I am entranced by the thought of you. My men tease me for the lovelorn look in my eyes, and my officers scold me for my inattentiveness. But I cannot help myself. I long to know in what state you are, what you do before falling asleep, what things you can see on your side of the line. I long to kiss you._

_As such, I propose this: if you look, you will see I have sealed two bandages within this letter. One is spotted with black ink, and one with blue. I say we ought to meet the Friday next. If you are agreeable, leave me the bandage with blank ink. If - to your knowledge- you are needed elsewhere at that time, leave the blue and we shall arrange a more appropriate time to meet. Remember, tell no one of our passage. Neither of us can risk discovery, nor infiltration - not at this stage._

_I will come again tomorrow night to check, with hope we shall meet soon._

_With all my love,_

_\- Oscar_


	5. Interlude: love

__________________

Alike Pyramus and fair Thisbe,

the lovers whispered through a wall

With grasped hands and loving murmurs,

they stayed there 'til morning's call

__________________


	6. Johnathon’s Letter #3

_13th August_

_Darling Oscar,_

_I was right in what I have previously said; I cannot dismiss our meeting from my mind. Every spare moment, every time I close my eyes, the other times that I have tried to sit and write this letter, all I can see is your smile chasing away the darkness. I miss your laugh - laughing even if nothing amusing was said. That meeting has worsened my longing. Sometimes the pain is physical - as we were forced to separate, there was a throbbing in my heart which could only have been remedied by the warmth of your arms._

_It is no matter. I know now that it is possible. Who is to say that it can't happen again?_

_Often I am the subject of the other officers' jokes. Maybe it is not too dissimilar around you, as I am apparently the only soldier that isn't making use of the services of the local ladies. They believe it is because I have Ruth waiting for me at home but in reality it is because my love is always only fifty yards away. I feel nothing but pity for those poor women; they are more than what the other men make them out to be! Just because their balls are blue does not permit them to use women them however they please._

_I send my apologies, my love. I feel as though we have arrived back at the beginning again, with me complaining the ethics of war and life itself. It must be tiring for you and for that I send a thousand apologies._

_Until we meet again, my dearest._

_Yours willingly,_

_\- Johnathon_


	7. CANCELLED

So me and my partner - who I was co-writing this with - broke up. As such, it’s unlikely this fanfic will ever be finished (though maybe we’ll finish it as friends, who knows?) but I thank you all for taking an interest in this short story :)

btw the gays would’ve made it through the war and been together in the end, don’t worry we don’t push “the gays always die” stereotype 


End file.
